Hi Liara,

I know from your memoir that you are quite experienced with psychedelics, and I’m looking for advice on that front.

I have done LSD a total of six times, all in high school. I did it five times within my sophomore year, and the sixth time was a year later, before my senior year. It went as badly as it could have. Me and my four friends did it at a Florida Springs campsite. We all took what we thought was a normal amount (100-150 micrograms) and it seems it was a much larger dose, so we were all tripping very hard and out of control. No one was sober. One of my friends went a little ‘sicko mode,’ and ran around naked, so we got the police and ambulance called on us and we all had to go to the hospital. Our parents were called. It was a big fucking mess.

I would say I am a bit traumatized by it. More so by the way it ended than by the actual trip itself—although the trip was really uncomfortable and I’ve had nightmares about it (mostly about being so out of control in an environment like a campsite). So I swore off LSD.

Now, three years later, my current partner and best friend like LSD, and it’s got me thinking, maybe I should try it again with people I trust, who can help me through it. When I’m sober, it feels like a great idea. When I’m weed high, the thought of doing LSD again makes me nervous. If I were to do it again, I think I’d start with a low dose, like 50 micrograms.

I’m looking for advice on if I should do it, when, where, and how. Or should I maybe try mushrooms? I just visited Montana and I knew that I could comfortably do it among the mountains—such an amazing view! But I live in Florida, so I would need to find a comfy place here.

I think one of my issues contributing to my hesitancy towards doing LSD again is the fact that I was so unprepared and young all the other times. I didn’t feel comfortable and never reached the full potential of the trip. My partner is very experienced with LSD and has no problem giving up control, so I feel like if I were surrounded by that energy, I would have an easier and way more enjoyable time.

What do you think?
J

“LSD puts brains into a very childlike state, one that is more impressionable and moldable. This has its benefits—it can help undo deeply ingrained trauma—but it also means that painful trips can stick with you.”

Hi J!

I’m so sorry to hear you had a bad trip. LSD puts brains into a very childlike state, one that is more impressionable and moldable. This has its benefits—it can help undo deeply ingrained trauma—but it also means that painful trips can stick with you more intensely than other negative experiences. That being said, I’ve heard from many people that having a good trip is the best way to reset and relax after an awful acid experience.

You may have already heard of the phrase “set and setting”—the formula for having a good trip. “Set” refers to your mindset at the time of your experience. You need to be in the right headspace before you consume psychedelics! Do you truly feel prepared to take acid? Do you have any anxieties or fears you should work through before your trip? In your case, it sounds like you have a great deal of anxiety specifically about doing acid, making this a particularly delicate trip.

I’m glad you’re surrounded by people you like and trust! “Setting”—or where you decide to trip and who you trip with—is almost as important as your mental state going into it. Someone who has experience with psychedelics will have an easier time tripping in chaotic spaces, while someone like you, who is already nervous about the situation, is going to need a softer touch.

It sounds like you already know what you want: to trip in nature surrounded by people you love! That sounds super dreamy. Because your traumatizing trip happened in Florida at a campground, you might want to change it up. If you can take a day trip out of state to change up your setting, that might do the trick! Or perhaps a secluded beach experience could be nice.

Fifty micrograms of acid can still feel like a substantial dose, depending on how sensitive you are. I would recommend starting even lower—maybe 10 micrograms—just so that you can really feel comfortable with the drug again. This low of a dose could be something that you try at home! It’s unlikely to have any dramatic effects; it could just make you ever so slightly more giggly. Then you can check in and see how you feel about trying something bigger.

Listen to your gut here; you know better than anyone what is best for you! If you feel like doing the acid, go for it. And if not, be patient with yourself.

Love,
Liara

Hi Liara,

I’m a Scorpio who just started dating a Capricorn. Do you have any experience or advice you’d like to share? (I saw you posting earlier about being a Scorpio and dating a Capricorn.)

Thanks,
M

“Capricorns tend to be the type of people who know everything about at least one subject, if not just about every subject—the type of person I can get stuck in the corner of the party with, talking for five hours about the origins of tennis shoes.”

Hi M!

Sooo… Capricorns are absolutely my favorite sign to date. I have never been in a super serious, long-term relationship with someone who hasn’t had some major Capricorn placements.

Capricorn friends have told me their sign is maligned as “boring” on all those astrology meme pages, which I was personally shocked to hear. Capricorns? Boring? In my experience, they are anything but. Capricorns tend to be the type of people who know everything about at least one subject, if not just about every subject—the type of person I can get stuck in the corner of the party with, talking for five hours about the origins of tennis shoes. And I’ll be laughing the whole time.

I guess Capricorns can be reserved (although most of the Capricorns I know are party animals). But that’s just because they’re careful people. They’re deeply loyal and take time before diving into things, which as an easily-spooked Scorpio with trust issues, I actually appreciate. The last thing I need is another Libra telling me they’re in love with me on the second date before ghosting me for two months and popping back into my life with a text about their new favorite ice cream after I post a thirst trap. Yikes.

And as far as sex goes… Look, I’m a Taurus rising with a Scorpio stellium. I’m super sexual. And I want to go for a long time. Six hours is my favorite length of time for a romp in the bed, three if we’re in a rush. An hour, for me, is a quickie. Capricorns are one of the few signs that can really match my endurance. If we’ve been fucking for 30 minutes and you’re all out of breath, I’m only going to see you again if I really like you as a person.

Plus, Capricorns are freaks. Sure, unlike Scorpios, some of them are reserved and don’t necessarily love to tell everyone at the party about the last time they fisted someone. Instead, Capricorns will just whip out the hottest, craziest move you’ve ever experienced super casually and blow your mind while acting like it’s no big deal. And they’re usually great kissers, too, okay?

Capricorns could maybe be considered boring, in the sense that they’re very responsible and diligent. They’re punctual. They’re usually not super dramatic. They may be party animals, but they work hard, too! As a Scorpio, I’m into it. Scorpios are also famously workaholics, after all. Both signs usually love saving money; when I’m looking for a long-term partner, I want someone who’s responsible, not someone who blows it all on whatever shiny, new toy has their eye at the moment.

The one area that can be tough with Capricorns and Scorpios is emotions. Capricorns love to repress, and Scorpios bottle up their feelings until they explode—totally freaking out the Capricorn, who had no idea there was an issue in the first place. Both have a lot to learn from each other; Capricorns can get a bit more in touch with their feelings (and their empathy!) and Scorpios can learn how to deal with conflict like a mature adult. Plus, once the Capricorn gets used to the deep, troubled waters of the Scorpio, they learn how to ground them instead of pulling away. The Scorpio can help the Capricorn process grief and whatever other feelings come up; no matter how intense, Scorpios are usually down to hold people’s hands through the dark.

Anyways, big disclaimer that we are all more than just our sun signs! You should look at someone’s full chart before making any judgments. And of course, astrology is never a replacement for dealing with the very real person in front of you. Trust what their actions tell you above all else.

Love,
Liara

Dear Liara,

The past few months, I’ve been casually sleeping with a man who is just out of a 10-year marriage. I’ve started to develop feelings for him. He told me he wasn’t ready for something more serious when we started seeing each other, but I’m wondering if—now that time has passed—he’ll be interested in being in a real relationship.

What do you think? Should I ask him if he wants to take the relationship to the next level? Or should I let him be the one to ask me?

Help!
A

“There’s nothing wrong with enjoying hooking up with someone. There’s nothing demeaning or belittling about that.”

Dear A,

Oof! This is such a tricky one. Sometimes, when people say they’re not looking for something serious right now, they mean it in a general way. But sometimes, it’s a “polite” way of saying they’re not looking for something serious with you. I used to always think that if someone said something like this, you should take it as a permanent, long-term rejection. But now that I’m the one who’s exiting a long-term relationship and intentionally trying to stay single, I have a whole new perspective.

I’ve been saying this to the people I sleep with! And some of them are people I would absolutely, one hundred percent pursue with everything I have if I was in the right space and looking for something more serious. They are total catches—but I am for sure just completely unable to be in a relationship right now. It’s actually been really nice to casually hook up with people, and to catch feelings just a little bit without feeling overwhelmed or like it has to be a super intense, serious, committed, long-term forever thing.

That being said, when I’ve noticed that people are starting to get a little more serious or start asking the wrong types of questions, like When do you think you’ll be ready? I gently break it off. Because right now, I just can’t. I don’t want to lead anyone on or unintentionally hurt them.

Take a hard look at the relationship. What activities are you doing together? Do you just go over to his place late at night, or do you go out? Have you met any of his friends? Have you traveled together? Who usually initiates plans? How long does he take to text back? Does he buy you presents? These questions might give you some insight into how he’s feeling. If you’re just going over and fucking and he doesn’t want to acknowledge you if he sees you in public, then he’s almost certainly not looking for something more serious—at least right now.

But check in with yourself! How important is it that you take this to the “next level”? Why not let it unfold naturally? Giving the relationship time and space to breathe and evolve might be better for both of you than immediately pressing him about his intentions. If you’re enjoying yourself, don’t get all insecure and in your head! There’s nothing wrong with enjoying hooking up with someone. There’s nothing demeaning or belittling about that.

If you check in with your feelings, and it actually is critical that you get clarity and security around this, then ask him. Be prepared to hear a no! And if it’s clarity you’re looking for, if he waffles or hedges at all, take it as a no. Move on. Make space in your life for someone who’s looking for the same thing you are. If he’s taking up all your energy, you won’t be able to see your ideal partner even if they’re right in front of you.

Good luck!

Love,
Liara

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