I have been very bored. I am a working musician and cannot play shows. I am also a middle school sports coach, and cannot teach! Instead, I’m spending this time to learn as much as I can. When I’m not practicing guitar, taking vocal lessons, boxing in my yard, or working on my cooking, here’s what I’m occupying my time with. Hopefully these can kill some boredom!

Explore Dogs’s Dog Sanctuary 24/7 live feeds
A slice of comfort in the midst of armageddon. Forget your troubles, watch the Puppy Playroom cam to see a litter nibble and lick on each other as they learn the basics like opening their eyes, eating food, moving their legs. It’s the best. Ever. But if that is too action packed for you, I’d also suggest checking out the Senior Dog Gathering Room. It’s a bunch of oldies lounging, just like you are.

Learn a language on Duolingo
Duolingo has been my lifeline. I am primarily a musician, and since I have been unable to play shows or rehearse, I’ve needed to find a new means of expending brainpower. I’ve spent an hour a day for the last month learning Spanish, and while I am not yet conversational, my grasp grows stronger by the day, and I can add Spanish into all of my jokes. It’s a skill that proves a hit with one roommate who grew up speaking Spanish at home, and causes a huge eye roll for all the others. It’s divisive and therefore worthwhile. Learn a language while you have free time.

New York Nico’s ‘Best New York Accent’ contest
Filling the gap March Madness has left behind, champion of all things NYC, New York Nico held a contest for the best New York accent. It may have finished, but you can catch up on all the content and replays on his Instagram.

And, while on topic of NY Culture, New York icons reveal their quarantine routines
Famous channeler of the New York spirit, Fran Leibowitz, told The New Yorker how she’s spending her time and adapting to social distancing. One of the other faces of New York’s Mt. Rushmore, Larry David, talked about his quarantine time with the New York Times.

Cop a cult Greek wine
Not a digital event, but here’s a digital link to digitally purchase this delicious Greek skin-contact wine to drink while at a digital event of sorts. My girlfriend spoke of this elusive wine for months—she had it once on a whim in Upstate New York, and there’s been no trace of it being in stock since. As our relationship has grown and blossomed, so has our enjoyment of wine. It’s a very adult hobby that is beginning to serve as a reminder that I am in fact growing up. When we were first faced with the prospects of a shelter-in-place order, we fulfilled our millennial duty and bought a heap of wine from a local shop. When that store closed its doors for the duration of the pandemic, we shifted our attention to Astor Wines and Liquors, who are currently delivering across the city. God bless them. While browsing on the website, my girlfriend found the elusive white whale, Paleokerisio, and I can confirm, it indeed fucks. We have since ordered a case, and it’s become our little quarantine treat. The price is affordable, and the taste is nuts. Buy some (but not all of it please).

Eat takeout with confidence
My baby ass has been scared to eat takeout or delivery for the last month. Some nights I’d like a break from the kitchen, but eating from the outside world sends me into a “mild” panic. After much encouragement from my significant other and my roommates, I’ve managed to eat a total of three takeout meals. Beforehand, and after, I feverishly researched why food handling was reliably safe, but couldn’t find the proper evidence to calm my fears. However, last night before bed, while reading various COVID-related news, I found a link to this’ Comprehensive Guide to Food Safety. It answers any and all questions one may have, is written from an understanding perspective, and backed up with citations, footnotes, and quotes from food safety scientists and professors. This morning I ate takeout with full confidence. It has created a glimmer of normalcy in a terrifying climate.

Watch Old World Cups at home
Relatively self explanatory: FIFA (the scum) have been live-streaming and uploading classic World Cup matches for our viewing pleasure. They have classic 4:3 ratio matches like prime Maradona and ‘90s France, as well as bangers from the 16:9 era. Those games range from the iconic Tiki Taka Spanish team to the well-oiled German machine of 2014. They also have recent favorites from the 4K resolution era, including WC 2018. If you’re in need of a fix, get in there.

Celebrate my birthday party
I turn 26 on Thursday. I won’t be having a party or gathering. Maybe we can Zoom, I’m undecided. You might be invited, not sure. You’re def allowed to celebrate it anywhere without me though!

Cave to Instagram Story trends
Usually I hate these stupid hack story posts and challenges that everyone plasters via social media. However, my stance on viral gags has lightened while in the throws of a viral apocalypse. It’s fun to make your own bingo board and drawings, or if you’re a dumb jock like myself, compare and contrast your Best 11 lineup with those of your likeminded friends.

SOCIAL DISTANCE BINGO:

QUARANTINE PORTRAIT:

ALL TIME WORLD BEST 11: